Keeping a Journal (3): Positive Affirmations

WHY we need positive affirmations in our daily lives.

1. Negative self-talk leads to self-deprecation which is counter-productive mainly because it robs us the hope for betterment. Hopelessness is the belief that something or someone is doomed - predetermined to go wrong. When we put our trust in predetermination and determinism, it locks us in a fixed mindset when it's the growth mindset that promotes hopefulness and its related fruits of empowerment, resilience, and increased motivation.

2. While it is generally believed that if people are not worried about something they are not willing to work on it, worrying about a problem debilitates our readiness to face it and deal with it because the experience of negative emotions, mainly fear and panic, consumes the energy necessary for the problem's resolution.
   

=> Therefore, negative self-talk is both harmful and useless.

A handy tool against the nasty voice that brings us down is the maintenance of positive affirmation practice.

HOW to maintain a healthy positive affirmations practice:

Ideally, the positive affirmation is available to our consciousness even in the darkest of hours and acts as a mind rescuer because 1) we know it by heart and never forget it so 2) we can evoke it to mind when we need it. A subtle condition for its successful implementation is the ability to recognize which situation requires which specific affirmation - an art of its own that some ascribe to chance, others to preparation in the past. But before we get to this immediate recollection we need to formulate and learn the positive affirmation abiding by some general rules.

1. Positive affirmations are different from mantras in that they are specifically about us. While Just do it! Life is grand! Love is the way/ the answer/ all you need/ in the air, etc.", are great mantras, they do not have the status of an ideal personal motivational coach speech positive affirmations do that provide not only a push but also faith in us in particular. When crafting your positive affirmations, use the second person instead of the first person to address yourself. This gives your mind the illusion of external support from others who perceive you as able when you do not perceive yourself so. For example, I engage in work that impacts this world positively. is transformed into You engage in work that impacts this world positively.

2. The affirmation includes only positive words. All -n't, not, un-, -less, without, im-, in-, etc. are removed and converted into words that define something concrete and specific rather than pointing out the exception or the limit. When we focus on what is forbidden, limiting, dangerous, or to be avoided at all costs, this only generates more desire to test that limit and our strength as we naturally aim to overcome limitations and thus grow and prove ourselves. The focus on the negative produces the opposite of the desired outcome, generating suppression that backfires on our will and emotional state. For example, I answer questions about my dreams without getting defensive. is transformed into I answer questions about my dreams calmly and openly.

3. Keep affirmations as short as possible. The shorter the affirmation, the faster it's presented to the mind. My ultimate affirmation is cheese but always available and always works: You can always choose love over hate! can be shortened to You can always choose love! or even better You choose love!
   

4. To feel empowered and in control of yourself and your life, you need to be in charge of the matter at hand. Therefore, you are the subject of the affirmation. For example, This situation works out for your highest good. is transformed into You work things out for your highest good.

5. Use the present tense rather than the past or future tense as it is the only tense where we have the freedom of free will and choice that build or break character. We may have done something great in the past, but there is no guarantee we will continue to do so in the present or future. For example, I will be/ have been present in my day. is transformed into  I am present in my day.
   

6. If starting from scratch is hard, you can try the readily available suggestions of positive affirmations generators online. However, mind that some ready-made affirmations may need to be modified to serve your needs or comply with the above rules as not all generators follow them as strictly as I find necessary. In all cases, you would need to save the affirmations somewhere for further reference so you can repeat and ultimately memorize them.
   

Some EXAMPLES:

When I struggle to find or invent a positive affirmation that resonates with my current situation, I revert to my first scheme which is to let the day of the week determine the topic of the affirmation. When deciding the distribution, I used the symbolism associated with the planets after which the days of the week are named in Latin.

1. Sunday (Day of the Sun/ Dies Solis) - affirmations on love (joy, satisfaction, children, family, entertainment, enthusiasm, gratitude, love of life, etc)

   1. You can love anyone [and everyone]!

   2. The more you spend energy on what you love, the more energy you have!

   3. You focus on what you like in others and [only this way] you are the fairest!
      

2. Monday (Day of the Moon/ Dies Lunae) - affirmations on health (well-being, detox, self-care, relaxation, balancing, grounding, healing, recovery, etc.)

   1. You have all the time in the world that you need for yourself!

   2. You let your emotions come and go [whatever they might be]!

   3. You can reconnect with your inner regenerative power [at all times and places]!

3. Tuesday (Day of Mars/ Dies Martis) - affirmations on livelihood (workplace environment, (team)work, colleagues, work projects, competitive sports, productivity, bravery, risk-taking, etc.)

   1. You earn your freedom by serving your duties with joy!

   2. You have the perfect time-sensitivity to practice the time-management needed for the realization of your full potential!

   3. You have everything in every moment to execute in grace God’s will!

4. Wednesday (Day of Mercury/ Dies Mercurii) - affirmations on flexibility (travel, trading, novelty, communication, wit and humor, curiosity, etc.)

   1. Your assertive communication style orientates people where is the door in your fence!

   2. You encounter exciting opportunities in all surprising situations!

   3. You are prepared for all eventualities and you transcend them with humor!

5. Thursday (Day of Jupiter/ Dies Iovis) - affirmations on magnanimity (benevolence, charity, good luck and fortune, hope, forgiveness, kindness, social intelligence, teaching, leadership, support of the weaker, etc.)

   1. You are content, competent, and caring which makes you perfect for teaching and the social sphere!

   2. You can provide the context and secure environment for the blossoming of everyone!

   3. You are capable of speaking only favorably!

6. Friday (Day of Venus/ Dies Veneris) - affirmations on inventiveness (creativity, research, aesthetic appreciation, arts, sciences, etc.)

   1. You are creatively building your exciting life every moment!

   2. Your creative vision for your life empowers you to [transcend beyond your fears and] fight for the beautiful and real in life!

   3. You find the courage to initiate creation in every moment you call yourself to it!

7. Saturday (Day of Saturn/ Dies Saturni) - affirmations on wisdom (correct judgment, perspective, patience, self-regulation, prudence, humility, discipline and religion, spirituality, etc.)

   1. You [can] build habits that make you happy with their outcomes!

   2. You stay true to your instincts, emotions, intuitions, [and whatever/whoever they lead you to]!

   3. You recognize your nasty patterns and you make corrections [with confidence, self-love, self-respect, forgiveness, and kindness to yourself]!
      

After exposing you to some sample affirmations, you may understand better why ready-made positive affirmations, just like guided visualizations, are a 2-edge knife:

• if they implant what we are inclined to believe - great/amazing, but

• if they implant something we are skeptical about, we only reinforce our disbelief and push it further away from us.

=> Therefore, the most helpful are those stretches of our imagination that jump into what we hope highest yet we are still able to see from our current ground. If the object of our desire is so far away from us in the clouds that we give up on the attempt at trying to reach it altogether, we are installing disbelief rather than belief. That said, it is best to create your positive affirmation on your own as tailor-made affirmations are safer than those tailored by others, may that other be your personal psychotherapist!